I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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