he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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