I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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