i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
