yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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