I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
