I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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