I am puke
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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