good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i believe in u and ur pee
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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