do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
