You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
