I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
