My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
