did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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