Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
