yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
