awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Panties = found
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
