guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
