i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
