I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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