Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
