I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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