hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
