Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
