Ambien. No doubt about it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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