i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
