you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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