I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
