Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
