Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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