love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
