Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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