areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
