I just saw a hot homeless man
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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