Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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