Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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