he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
