I think I am morally bankrupt
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
