Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize