thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Pants are for mortals
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
