? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
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