I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
