Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
