Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
