It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
