fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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