If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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