"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
