he wants to bone in the snuggie
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
