You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
