Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
