normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
