yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
