I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i think my cat just said my name.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
