He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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